我的藏獒开了我的花苞

"I know you wish to laugh, there is no need to hold it in on my behalf."

She throws her head back, hands on her hips her mouth open wide to release her deafening cackles snorting along the way. "I-I apologize Krlovna! That was j-just so entertaining!"

I am withdrawn as I continue with my purge overlooking her teasing. "It is quite all right, it seems as though every wolf on these lands adores humiliating me."

Her laughter quietens down as she digests my words. "I do not find you unpleasant, rather you are lovable Luna." She whispers as I look up at her shaken by her words. "You are different from us and I am jovial you are for you bring forth this newness to our lands. It would be monotonous without you."

"You are the first to say so."

"And there shall be plenty others who will follow me. Give them time, they shall see the light you bring forth."

My cheeks flare carelessly to her compliment, which is polite of her. "That is kind of you to say, Moira."

"I am merely speaking the truth."

I nod at her with gratefulness as I turn to peek down at the shovel. "Say, Moira can you direct me how much I must accumulate onto the scoop for it I think I have dug too much I cannot seem to lift it."

She smiles at me as though she is pleased I have asked her aid. "Of course, Krlovna." She proceeds to my side and assists me with it.

As time progressed Moira and I got friendlier with each other, she chatted about how much her male had an uncanny resemblance to Phobos and how she had first met her male and their love story whilst I spoke of my family and my friends and how much I missed them as well.

I had asked her about Argus if he hadn\'t missed his father. She stated Phobos assisted her that way. That he oftentimes took the father\'s role with the pup and that elevated the lack of warmth or fatherly love in her male\'s life.

She had inquired about the characters of my friends and I narrated it all from how Orien and Ismena never bickered with the other despite being mates whilst Zina often danced on bar counters dead drunk as her brother Aegeus fought to calm her down. Moira said she wished she had friends as such as well, she did not have many growing up except for my moon blessed, Drakho and Awan.

Moira had made the cleaning so fun, I enjoyed every minute with her endless jokes. She even mocked my male from when he was a juvenile and I had chuckled at her words. I suddenly began to feel myself with her my barriers slackened a bit allowing her to probe a little.

Whatever we discussed not once she traversed over my boundaries, she did not seem over-friendly as well. She talked with me with respect to my title as her Luna. I learnt she possesses a divine voice as well, I had made her sing and she blushed when I had complimented her. The female expressed how I was the first to cheer her in years other than her mate and Phobos.

She seemed isolated in a way, just as how I often found myself to be on these pack lands. As the sun set, Moira and I had scoured the entire shed even sprayed water to rinse the stained grass.

"You did great for your first time, Krlovna. You did not even retch!" She exclaims in amazement a smile on her face.

"Thank you for supporting me, Moira. It shall be laborious for me to get accustomed to your ways."

"Well I do not think so, the fact that you have been settling in quite well despite Phobos merely locating you two months before portrays to me your resilience."

"What do you mean?" I question with uncertainty. Two months ago? Phobos knew I was his female since I turned six, what is this female saying?

"Yes, Phobos notified us the very same day he found you. From the time he stepped on our pack lands when he had turned nineteen, we would continually pester him investigating if he had spotted his female but he would always give us a negative answer bothered he hadn\'t located you. We had given up hope at one point but we had eventually questioned him again two months ago and was met with a surprise for he exclaimed he had definitely found you. He must have truly desired you for him to abduct you like that right after he saw you."

The wheels of my mind turn to her words, did he keep them from me or did he keep me from them? Perception takes time to descend in and I close my eyes sneaking my trembling fists behind my back, the truth of it wounds my heart.

He was embarrassed by me.

I cannot cry here in front of her, I cannot show the vulnerability in the relationship I possess with my male. "I wish to go cleanse myself. I shall shower at the stall. Thank you for today, Moria."

"Yes, you must feel icky and spent. Please go ahead, Luna. Have a good rest." She sends me on my way as I hurriedly whirl around clamping my palm over my mouth hindering my cries running to the stall as soft sobs burst free from my mouth, tears streaming down my cheeks.

He makes me misremember, he makes me forget the cruel male he is. I do not know anymore if what he says, what he does hold any trueness to them. He had called me undeserving, he had forsaken me. He deceived his pack because he could not afford to tell the truth of his female, of how unprepared she was? Of how wholly ashamed of her he felt.

I should have known, I should have! How could I be so naive, with just a few nights with him he has me enthralled my mind clouded from the truth. My sorrow is muffled as the icy bitter water bashes my flesh soaking me from head to toe. His pack deems he was so in love with me that he had captured me right away.

Do they know that we grew up together? Do they know he was the male I cherished wholeheartedly when I was a pup? Do they know how insensitively he deserted me when I was eighteen just after I became conscious of the electrifying bond we possessed?

Everything he has vocalised of me to them is a tale is it not? Then what of how he behaves with me, is it deception as well? What do I believe when it comes to my male, I do not wish to be swayed like this back and forth by him. One day he makes me feel high as though I am gliding above the clouds then a few hours later his past comes to drag me down jostling me in deep waters idling until I drowned.

Sneezing faintly whimpering to the biting coldness of my surrounding I uproot an old tunic huddled in one of the tiny compartments as Moira had notified me. I draw it down over my damp bare shivering flesh as I force open the door of the stall hiking to the cabin.

I do not wish to face him, I will not talk to him.. I have had sufficient distress for today.