我的藏獒开了我的花苞

"Are you all right, Luna?" Moira murmurs from my side her globes concerned as she plunges a rod through the fish I seasoned fixing it over the fire to cook. I am mute not reacting to her for she is one of the reasons why I feel so depressed, the way she behaves with my male I do not like it. The relationship she holds with him I question with every breath I take. It is truly saddening, this burdensome feeling of my heart.

"Is it because of today\'s ceremony? Of Phobos\'s departure?"

What...what did she just say? Departure? "What do you mean?" I ask her as my heart begins to pound uncontrollably beneath my rib cage. I stand more upright preparing for the blow of her words. Phobos keeps many things from me I believe and each time the truth scatters it never is good to me.

"P-Phobos did not tell you? I am sorry I-"

"As your Luna, I order you to answer the questions I shall ask." I am sick of running around in circles with every wolf hustling to find the answers I seek. I never wished to use my authority to coerce any wolf but this is my right to know. "What is the meaning of this ceremony? Where is my male going?"

She gulps peeking at my male as though obliquely urging him to come to us to cease the conversation she holds with me. She feels it is not her place to answer me but his. Yet her gaze is overlooked by my male for his attention is consumed by his warriors. "Look at him for aid once more and I shall see to it you are punished, Moira."

"Krlovna." She bows her respect to me exhibited for all to see.

"Answer me."

"It is time for the winter hunt. That is the purpose of the ceremony, to wish them well on their hunt." She replies her eyes fixed to the earth she does not meet mine, a submissive stance she takes.

"Winter hunt? Explain it to me, Moira." The other females are stepping towards us bearing their crates, I must acquire my solutions quickly.

"Winters are rigid on our lands all creatures either hibernating or hiding within caves. All the males leave to travel far and capture them to bring them back in time for winter or we shall all starve." If this is so why wouldn\'t Phobos tell me? It is not a big issue, it is his responsibility to his pack I understand this.

"How many days do they leave for?"

"Not days, Luna. Months. The males shall not return to us for seven months."

A detectable intake of breath comes from my side, it is loud and Moira watches the surface of my core crack and shatter. Seven months? How am I to wait here alone without him for seven months?! The sole reason I was able to breathe on this foreign shore was because of his warmth and now he shall leave me once more and disappear from my side. Why is every day of my life here so worrying and so arduous to survive through?

"W-When shall they depart?" I ask teeth sinking into my wobbling lower lip holding it in place as I will myself not to weep. My emotions overwhelm me crowding into my space gnawing at my heart and mind as I breathe tremulously.

"Tomorrow before daylight."

The rhythms of my heart hitch as my eyes swell to her truth. It is a barbaric merciless strike to my essence, to be newly mated and abandoned by your moon blessed is a curse. Why does he leave things till the last second? This is just like the day he claimed me as his, unforeseen and austere not letting me settle in not enabling me to prepare myself.

An immediate urge to return home descends within, I never once wished this but now I truly ache to go home to Cronus. Seven months is too long, I do not wish to stay away from my male for this period. It has been almost three months since I arrived here and now he shall inconsiderately leave me once more.

I grasp duty to the pack comes above all, but he could have told me. He could have assisted me to prepare for this change so I accustom more smoothly.

"We became aware of it today as well, Luna. The males tend to keep such things away from us and tell us whenever they wish." Moira tries to lighten my rising agitation but it does not work.

"Truly, Moira? Well, I knew three weeks ago for my male informed me so that I could mentally prepare myself to send him away." Another female pipes in with her news as her cheeks crimson whilst she speaks of her male with admiration. The actuality of my relationship with Phobos I dreaded trudges forth to stand into the light.

I am not special to him. He is merely treating me like the rest of his wolves.

I am silent not uttering another word as all the females begin inspecting our meal for tonight. "The ceremony shall commence in a few minutes. What have you prepared for your male as a parting gift?" A female inquiries another assembling the fullness of my interest.

"I spent the last few months weaving him fur scarfs, socks and other attire that will preserve him from the extreme winter storms. And you?"

"I wrote him long passages proclaiming my love for him and how immensely I shall miss him after his departure."

Shame. I feel abashed for I have prepared Phobos nothing. If had known earlier my offering to him would have been intensely intimate, something he shall remember every night as he sleeps alone in his tent. If I had known I would have barged into his room wishing to cuddle into his chest. If I had known, I would have forced a kiss on his lips and greedily drunk his essence.

But my male on the other hand is quite content leaving his female alone on his fields, he trusts his wolves wholeheartedly. But I do not. I live in constant uncomfortableness and anxiety when I am in their presence. Or perhaps he does not care enough for choosing to do so with no reluctance.

"Luna, what have you chosen to give Alpha? It shall be his first hunt whilst having his female. There must be a particular present I suppose." She giggles skittishly teasing me hinting at something sexual.. Sex, she thinks I will give him my body. How can our bodies touch when even our lips haven\'t?